How to Fix a Broken Childhood

How do you fix a broken childhood?
The first step is self-awareness and realizing that something is broken.
The second step is on the healing path.

Life’s major shocks break us from our trance and we awaken from the daily routine of sleep-walking through life.  Wide awake, we suddenly remember what matters most of all.  Frequently, we realize that the only thing that matters is love.  Too often, however, love eludes us because we don’t love ourselves.  It is the love of self that manifests as love in our lives.

 “If you want love, be love”  Dr. Wayne Dyer

As a clinical hypnotist, it’s startling for me to realize how many people don’t love themselves.  Just this past weekend, several people I encountered in different situations came to the realization that much of their lifetime had been spent trying to get attention, validation and joy from outside themselves.  Rarely did they feel love and happiness from within.

Childhood issues are not always evident on the surface so it’s often crisis that sets us on the healing path.  Sometimes, it’s after our relationships fail, our addiction overwhelms us, or our career falls apart that we seek solutions and become ready to do the work required to change things from the inside out.

Feeling un-loved is common.  It begins in childhood between the ages of 0 to 4.  The brain waves of infants move in a theta pattern which means the children are not ‘thinking’ but are ‘absorbing’ information.  When children are ignored, abused, or given other messages that they aren’t worthy, this information becomes imprinted deep in their subconscious.  This negative pattern can govern their thoughts, emotions and actions throughout their entire lifetime.

The realization that you don’t love yourself can surface in many different ways.  One example is a woman who appeared highly successful and confident on the outside.  As she worked her way through the hypnosis process of self-discovery, she realized that she’d been buying the appearance of confidence in the form of expensive clothes and had been attempting to prove her self-worth by working long hours in her career.  Her subconscious belief was that she was not good enough to attain her parents’ approval.

Another woman who had been locked in a self-defeating pattern regularly quit jobs because she felt judged by her bosses.  Her parents had been judgemental so she had subconsciously projected this onto each situation.  Instead of creating a supportive social life with friends, she fell into the habit of taking endless courses to prove her intelligence and value.  Through hypnotherapy, she discovered that her career choice of social work actually made her uncomfortable because the weaknesses and insecurities of her clients reminded her of her own personal challenges.  Sometimes, when we dislike someone else, it’s because they remind us of what we dislike about ourselves.  Happily, the reverse is true.  When we admire someone else’s gifts, talents or abilities, it’s because we have these same qualities.

By chance, I crossed paths with a neighbour who poured out her anger, disappointment and sorrow about how her life was stuck.  She complained that her family took advantage of her and said thoughtless and unkind things.  She felt poorly treated in her job as a care-giver.  This neighbour was already self-aware and concluded by saying, “I know what the problem is.  I don’t love myself.”  Though she had identified the problem, she didn’t know how to fix it.

When you don’t love yourself, you can subconsciously set a negative example
of how others can treat you.

There is hope for all of us.  With hypnosis, you can discover negative belief patterns. Once you identify the issues, you can change your old behaviour patterns and begin to feel much better about yourself.  Hypnosis provides a process to eliminate negative programming and replace it with more positive and healthier beliefs about who you are and your value as a human being.  With self-hypnosis, you can continue the healing process and improve your life.  Even if you had a cold and cruel childhood, you can learn to love yourself.

Heal your heart and you heal your world.

Comments

  1. Anonymous says:

    Thanks i guess im 14 and me and my mom always argue and i have no friends i never did nothiing too nobody.

    • Elizabeth Rose says:

      Dear Anonymous,
      Thank you for reaching out. Fourteen is a tough age. I remember wanting to end my life at age 14, but thought, “What if I killed myself just before something wonderful happened?” My fear of missing out kept me alive and I’m soooooooo grateful that I hung on. Hang-on to your life. It’s precious and the world needs you! This planet is a magical place and good things happen to those who work at it, and to those who ask for help.
      A man in his seventies recently told me that he had HOPE and CHARITY, but no FAITH. I did hands-on healing to alleviate months of chronic nerve pain that had stopped him from dancing – what he loved most. After the healing, his pain disappeared and he said that he now had FAITH and he’s dancing again!
      Life is meant to be a challenge. We’re here to learn. When you learn to rise above your challenges, you will realize your power, and your value, and life will keep getting better, despite the ups and downs. When people get to know you, you’ll become an important part of their world. Start by being kind to yourself. Step back and start to notice what triggers the arguments. Maybe your mom’s not happy. Happiness comes from inside. You can’t change your mother, but you can change yourself! Learn how to be happy from YouTube, books and other resources. Get out of your head, step out of your home, and go into the community. There are libraries with free programs for people your age. Volunteer with people who are less fortunate or with senior citizens who would greatly value your commitment. Do a Google search to find free youth programs in your area. Reach out. Knock on doors and they will open. If only we knew our magnificence right away, but we must take baby steps before we realize how truly incredible and valuable we all are. Pray daily: “Show me the way!” Each of us is here to create our own life. Create the life you want! Some houses have beautiful gardens and happy families. Some homes are surrounded by dead grass, garbage, and filled with anger. In both cases, these families probably created their realities. Start learning how to change yours, one step at a time. Perhaps you can begin to find the humour in bad situations. Great comics learned to laugh at the worst predicaments. You can do this!
      Wishing you Faith, Laughter, and Courage!
      Elizabeth